PROLOGUE
Thursday, 16 July 2020
Time flies by so fast. I haven't even begun to entirely process the fact that I'm officially a college student, but Week 1 of Semester 1 is already almost coming to an end. I still remember my first day of online class when I got so nervous while introducing myself to everyone. I was never good with strangers, so I get jitters every time I meet new people.
After five peaceful years living in the comfort of my village and hanging out with childhood friends, it gives me anxiety when I think about all the new things, places and people I'll be discovering in this next new phase of my life. Somehow, I'm terrified of getting out of my comfort zone, yet I'm so excited to unravel the mystery ahead of me.
There's just too many mixed emotions I feel right now for me to settle on just one. I'm hoping for everything to turn out well soon so I could stop overthinking. Yet the only thing that's for sure is that I'm about to bloom into a better person once I find my way out of this darkness.
ARRIVING AT PUNCAK ALAM
Friday, 7 August 2020
My first week of college was a blast. I got to experience so many new things in just a few days. It was an exhausting, but great experience. From my first flight to my first days of moving into college, so many emotions all at once. It was surreal. I'm quite embarrassed to admit, but I was actually shaking when I was boarding the plane. Though my mother was with me, her seat was far away from mine as we bought separate tickets. So, it kind of felt like I was alone, even though I was not.
My flight took off at 7 AM sharp. It was a lovely Sunday morning. I could clearly see Mount Kinabalu from KKIA, which was a rare occurrence since it's usually hidden by clouds. The view was breathtaking. It made it even harder for me to leave home. I felt like a young bird finally leaving the nest after learning how to fly on my own. Tears were shed, but it was a great way of ending my last moments in Sabah.
Now that I'm here in the peninsular, I realize how inexperienced I am when trying to fit in foreign places. I tried to avoid speaking in Malay at all cost since my Sabahan accent is too strong for locals to understand. But after receiving the reassurance and encouragement from my friends to keep staying to my roots, I decided to just embrace it. It's going to take a while for me to get used to this unknown environment, but I know I'll get through it at the end.
I'm nervous but excited for what's to come. To my future self, there's only one thing I'm hoping from you: to never lose sight of who you are and where you come from.
Goodluck. See you on the other side.
Thursday, 20 August 2020
Another quiet night here in Palam. All my housemates and most of my friends have already left campus to go back to their houses. I'd be lying if I say I don't envy them. I guess it's just the cons of studying far away from my family. Still, I'm glad I'm not alone in this. I'm not the only Sabahan here. It hurts, and our homesickness will only get worse, but it's okay. We're all in this together.
On the bright side, I'm getting more attention from my parents than ever before. Ever since I entered the campus, they've been calling me every morning and night to make sure I'm fine. It's not something new, though. They've always made sure to check up on me whenever I leave home. Only back then, I took it for granted as a nuisance.
Now, I'm grateful as I'll ever be. I no longer sigh when my phone rings, but feel super excited to see them instead. I don't know how long this we'll be able to keep up with this routine. There are bound to be days when we're too busy for each other. Though one thing is for sure, I'm impatiently counting down the days when I'll finally come back home.
NEW PLACES, NEW FACES
OUT OF THE SCREEN & INTO THE REAL WORLD
UiTM Puncak Alam is where I first met my classmates in real life and not through a screen. I have gotten closer to most of them as they are actually quite friendly and befriending them was not as hard as I thought. Moreover, I feel like I am slowly fitting in and familiarizing myself with this college life routine here. Although I am struggling to keep up with assignments, I feel lucky to have such supportive people like my classmates by my side.
We are all in this together <3
THE BORKIANS
Meeting these people all over Malaysia was awesome. But sometimes, I thought maybe having friends who came from Sabah as well could have been nice too. Thankfully, I found more of my kind here in PALAM. We like to call ourselves the Borkians because I sent a video of a man-dog hybrid repeatedly saying “Bork” for one whole minute. The context sounds odd and creepy, doesn’t it? Well, for us it wasn’t at all. In fact, we found it quite funny.
As we got to know each other, I found even more similarities between ourselves despite coming from different districts in Sabah. Our weirdness was what bonded us all together and we got comfortable with each other really fast. I'm a sea away from my family, but being around the Borkians doesn't make me feel that way.
They feel like home to me.